In Philip Patston's various roles he does quite a lot of communicating and a fair bit of fixing things when they go wrong. He shares his experience that, when things go wrong, they often do so because of what was - or wasn't - communicated.
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If I was to name one thing that could make the world a better place – and of course nothing will do that alone – it would be changing how and what we communicate with each other.
In my various roles I do quite a lot of communicating. I also do a fair bit of fixing things when they go wrong. My experience is that, when things go wrong, they often do so because of what was – or wasn't – communicated and how it was – or wasn't – done.
Misunderstandings, conflict, unfair treatment and repeated mistakes are inevitable parts of human interaction. They are not entirely avoidable, but minimising their effect:
I've come into several situations where relationships or processes have broken down because of a simple crossing of wires at an early point of an exchange. Never assume you or the other person have it right. Say, "This is what I understand – am I right?" or ask the other person what they've heard. It may seem like a waste of time but it could save disputes down the track.
Use email to communicate information, talk face to face or on the phone to make decisions, text for unimportant or non-urgent exchanges. I often use phone or Skype to reply to emails where something is complex or there are several options. Always err on the side of communicating too often rather than too seldom especially in times of change or uncertainty. And if there is nothing to communicate, tell people, don't leave them wondering.
Most conflict occurs when people inappropriately share their emotions. There's a big difference between what happens and how you feel about it. There's a huge difference between telling people how you feel and sharing that emotion. If something annoys or upsets you, go and be annoyed or upset on your own. Get over it and return to tell the person in a clear, calm manner, what you reacted to and why. Drama is for stage and screen, not real life.
While a few treat others badly on purpose, most people negatively discriminate quite unintentionally. Don't guess what the right thing to do is. Beware being overly confident that you know the answer and, if you do need advice, be careful to find the right person to ask.
Next time you have any doubt about what to do (or if it's new and you have no way of knowing), stop and say to the person concerned, "I'm not sure what to do here." You'll be amazed at the conversation that ensues.
Mistakes create learning, repeated mistakes waste time. By continually checking out understanding, ensuring the right communication medium, sharing the correct information clearly and calmly and involving people in exploratory dialogue, you won't stop making mistakes, but at least you'll make new ones, not old ones.
Communication is a process, not an outcome – a journey, not a destination. Keep on communicating, especially during low moments. Keep moving to reach the high points in your personal and professional relationships.